


Following Procedure

by faithinthepoor



Series: Rizzoli and Isles [9]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Living Proof</p>
            </blockquote>





	Following Procedure

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows [Body of Evidence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621139), [Locard’s Principle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621144), [Sex Crimes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621154), [Post-Mortem](http://archiveofourown.org/works/621169), [M'Naghten Rules](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622535), [Genetic Markers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/622575), [Internal Affairs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/625031) and [Cause of Death](http://archiveofourown.org/works/629923)

Life can be so very cruel sometimes. Getting shot seems like the kind of thing that should absolve one of their crimes. She had thought God might cut her some slack for a little while but apparently she has done some very bad things in her life because her punishment isn’t over. Her wounds may have healed but her scars are deep and the damage isn’t just confined to the path of the bullet.

When she was lying in her hospital bed everything seemed so clear. She already knew just how short and fragile life can be, you can’t do the job that she does and believe anything else, but it became apparent that she needed to distance herself from the living so that they wouldn’t be touched by the darkness around her. She knows she is marked for death, she’s known this for some time - between being a cop and the fact that she has a mass murderer stalking her the chances of a long and happy life are nonexistent. The news that she was willing to shoot herself to save others only confirmed that she will not live long enough to draw her pension.

She has heard than when people face near death experiences they become determined to live life to the fullest but that is not how she feels. It seems like she has already gone. She has made a small step forward and has managed to get off of her couch and back to work but in many ways that just seems like the beginning of the end. On the plus side it doesn’t cause her crippling pain to move and breathe anymore. It’s a small blessing but it’s a welcome one.

If only emotional pain was as easy to eradicate as physical pain. During her recovery and convalescence things had been manageable. It was relatively simple to keep people out. People that weren’t her mother at least. She could seal herself up in a hermetic vacuum and her mother would still find a way to get in. Her cocoon of squalor was reasonably successful in keeping Maura out though. Out of her home anyway, keeping the doctor out of her heart and mind was a lot more difficult.

Going back to work makes it almost impossible to keep Maura away. For a start it would be foolish to avoid the best pathologist in the city. She may feel like she is just waiting for death but that doesn’t mean she wants to go to her grave with a poor case clearance rate. Jane could lie to herself and say that she is spending time with Maura socially because she needs her assistance at work but Maura isn’t like that. Maura is far too professional to let her personal issues impact on her work performance. 

Avoiding Maura socially would have the added benefit of avoiding her mother but it seems that Jane isn’t able to take advantage of that particular gift horse. Instead she is subjecting herself to a fresh new form of hell where she has to accept the fact that Maura managed to sleep with her surgeon before Jane had recovered enough to get to the toilet on her own. Jane really can’t understand how that could have happened. She had wanted space from Maura, wanted to find a way to keep her safe, but she had not wanted Maura to fall into bed with the first man that she met.

In a way learning how quickly Maura had replaced her made things easier. It also made her feel like her blood was on fire and she is very impressed that she didn’t punch the smug, pronoun abusing, trauma surgeon in the face. She was relieved when Maura 86ed the pompous git but that led to a new set of problems. It seems that as hard as it is for Jane to see Maura with someone else it’s even harder to know that she is single.

Maura has done more than amputate a boyfriend to make things difficult for Jane. Lately it feels like Maura is doing her best to appear super human. Watching her perform an emergency caesarean in order to save the baby of a dead woman was a thing of wonder. To say that Maura did the surgery in less than ideal circumstances is a massive understatement but Maura didn’t seem to bat an eye at the conditions and just did want she needed to do to save the child.

Learning that Maura had already been to see the infant was not something that made Jane comfortable. Jane joked with her about pickle cravings but the thought of a clucky Maura was actually distressing. Maura may have been off on some strange scientific kick and conducting a quasi experiment where she was trying to create that oxymoron hormone thingy from contact with a child instead of from sex but there was no denying that she looked happy with the baby. Jane had never seen Maura as a mother before. The idea of Maura sleeping with someone else was almost more than Jane could bear but it turns out that it’s much more tolerable than the idea of Maura starting a family with someone else.

When it comes to family Maura has been proving difficult on more than one front. Maura has Jane’s mother wrapped around her little finger. It helps that that finger is attached to someone who carries around obscene wads of cash in their purse and either has no concept of art or absolutely no idea just how dangerous it is to indulge Angela Rizzoli. Given that Maura has displayed more than a passing acquaintance with art there is no way that she could have felt that the landscape she purchased had any value and her behaviour can fall under the category of eager to please. Jane would normally find Maura’s huge overstep in her attempts to interact appropriately at the yard sale endearing but any appeal that action could have earned has been erased by the fact that Maura’s excessive spending means that Jane’s mother is now likely to see herself as a legitimate artist. 

If you’d have asked Jane she would have said there was nothing that Maura could do that would be more annoying than inflating Jane’s mother’s ego but she would have been wrong. As it turns out Maura is capable of doing something far more infuriating. Jane could have strangled Maura when Maura put herself in the sights of a wack-job with a knife in order to save a stranger’s baby. Jane was terrified. She could have been stuck there, literally holding the baby, while a crazy bitch sliced and diced the woman she loves.

She’s not an idiot. She knows she’s in love with Maura. She also knows that she can’t act on that love, especially if Maura is going to be putting herself at risk. Jane would just like things to be simple, she would like Maura’s display of reckless behaviour to be something that repulses her but that isn’t the case. In Jane’s eyes no one compares with Maura - she is beautiful, she is smart, she is brave, she is perfect. Jane is not really the romantic type but she can’t help thinking that Maura was made for her. She is certain that she connects with Maura in a way that nobody else does. Jane wishes her life were different. She wishes she could offer Maura a future. She would do anything to be able to give Maura more but sadly the best that she can do is subject herself to a second eighty dollar dirt birth and hope that in some small way it makes Maura happy.


End file.
